You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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