I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize