I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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