This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
