My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
