We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
