Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
