I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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