Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
