2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
