Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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