Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
