You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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