I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
