I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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