if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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