wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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