how can u be prego again
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
