Do you still have your period?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
