I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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