Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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