so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
