Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
