the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
