I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
lol hangovers are for mortals.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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