Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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