why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
