five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
