But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
