As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
