i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I love you.
Bad choice
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
