Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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