first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
