he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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