The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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