There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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