i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize