You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
