i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
