i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
