So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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