did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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