Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
