Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
