3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
