Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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