Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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