she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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