Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
