i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
