can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
