You really coming over, don't trick.
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
