oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
