happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
