Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize