I hope mine doesn't look like that
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Randomize
