i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize