You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
