So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
