I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
