guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
ok first of all what the fuck
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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