"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
