I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
